Aka. Be careful what you ask for. :)
I came home from the Created for Care Adoption Moms conference full of information, strength and hope for the future. Unfortunately I returned back to work the next day feeling like I had no time to really process through and pray about what I learned at the conference. So I prayed that God would help me to know how to balance my time and what to focus on in the coming weeks. That same evening while working out I did a lunge, dislocated my knee and have been in pretty severe pain since. I’m out of work and pretty much stuck to a couch for the next two weeks, not able to put weight on my left leg at all.
While praying through how to handle the unknowns of parenthood and the financial strain that can bring, God put me smack dab in the middle of a situation that I cannot control… where financial strains are once again in the forefront and where I am forced to trust.
But somehow the trusting is coming easier this time around. God has proven himself faithful. I am choosing to look to the unknowns with confidence of His goodness not with fear of how is this or that going to get taken care of or paid. This random fluke of a pretty life altering injury (at least for the moment) is just a blip in my life. And I can choose to have hope in this blip.
I can sense God’s power at work in encouraging me when in my sin I would easily give in to fear and despair. One of the things God reminded me at the conference was “in this world you will have trouble. But take heart. I have overcome the world.”.
What hope that truth brings! Troubles have come. More are probably coming. My faith that has been tested over and over is being tried yet again. And through His Spirit I can overcome the discouragement or hopelessness of not being in control and choose to rest in the arms of the One who ordained this day.
Yup. This day where I haven’t taken a shower because I can’t get into the bathtub alone. This day where the sun is shining beautifully and I so long to go on a walk or a bike ride. This day where the house is a wreck and I can literally sit here and count crumbs on the carpet. God ordained it. So I’m just gonna sit here, sip on my sweet tea and remember His goodness to me. He will provide. He knows my needs. If even a sparrow finds a place to rest and even the lilies of the field are clothed, our bills will get paid. If our adoption is delayed because of the financial strain this could cause, He knows that and has a reason why.
My heart still wants to break as I look around and see all that’s wrong. But how can I keep from singing his praise? He’s proven His faithfulness. He knows my needs. And He has overcome the troubles of this world.