The last month has been a struggle for me. Not as much thinking – not as much posting – more focus outward and I’m beginning to see that its a balancing act – I can’t effectively disciple others if I’m not discipling my own heart. When something is unkown, I kick into “do it on my own” mode and that’s what i’ve done over the past few weeks. How grateful am I that even when I’m silent towards God, He’s not silent to me. He is patiently plodding away at the crust around my heart. He’s lovingly patiently graciously providing new grace with the rising of each day’s sun. He’s making me increasingly aware that I don’t deserve it.
“The Christian must trust in a withdrawing God.”
God, give me the trust in you whether you are obviously active or even at times when you choose rather silence. In that silence, grant me the grace not to busy myself with other concerns, but rather to sit (though at times uncomfortable) in the silence. Help me to see that these times are the ones that heal. That the business hides my wounds but your silence grants me the opportunity to rejoice in my wounds as I see your wounds that heal all. As I see your all encompassing compassion in healing me, grant me peace. Grant me a heart that is soft for you, ever trusting your ways, whether they are clear to me or if the steps ahead are unknown.