“Come, everyone who thirsts, come to the waters; and he who has no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without price. Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread, and your labor for that which does not satisfy? Listen diligently to me, and eat what is good, and delight yourselves in rich food” (Isaiah 55:1-2).
Am I simply discouraged by my circumstance (outward response) or is that stemming from discontentment (an inward war)? or is there even a difference? and how do i discern the difference? does discouragement always tie back to discontentment? or is it okay to be discouraged with circumstances, praying that your kind God would change them, resting in His arms if He doesn’t?
i just don’t know.
I can’t say I’m grateful for these migraines. they suck. so, I guess I’m not delighting in the rich food i’ve been given (see verse above). suffering is for our good, meant to sanctify us. so, then is the logical conclusion that it is rich food? and that i should delight? if so, how does that tie back to praying for relief?
i’m praying for relief. i’m praying for an answer. but i want to know God.
i’m reminded of the song “jesus bring the rain” (bring me joy bring me peace, bring the chance to be free, bring me anything that brings you glory, and i know there’ll be days when this life brings me pain, and if that’s what it takes to praise you, Jesus bring the rain.)
i’m trying to be grateful for the rain. rejoicing in the broccoli, yet hoping and praying for ice cream. i don’t know if i’m off with this or what. i’m tired. i desperately want sleep because sleep brings some semblance of relief. relief would be nice.
i don’t want to be so focused on the migraines that i miss God. i know He’s here. i know He’s working. i know He hasn’t forgotten. i’m hoping He heals. the answer isn’t in knowing the cause of the pain. its in knowing the relief-giving Physician. I want to know Him.