My friends, I’m overwhelmed. I’ve cried all day. This morning, I was yawning and exhaustedly limping into work. Then God fed me richly with Psalm 62 (I’ve “bolded” the words that He specifically used this morning)
For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him. He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken. On God rests my salvation and my glory; my mighty rock, my refuge is God. Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us. Selah
Those of low estate are but a breath; those of high estate are a delusion; in the balances they go up; they are together lighter than a breath.
The first thought I had when I read that last verse was “I’m glad that’s not true. I deserve hell. He’s not going to render to me what I deserved. Because of the cross, because of the substitutionary perfect life of Christ, He looks at me with acceptance and pleasure. What grace! How that is undeserved!
Little did I know the roller coaster was about to take another flip – except this time it was behind my back and I couldn’t see it coming…
One of the managers at work came to my desk and mentioned that he needed to talk to me when I was off the phone (I was fighting with the insurance company about the $1404 that they say I owe them from my MRI). I got off the phone and Siggi (my boss) reminded me that I needed to go talk to Jeff.
So, I went over to Jeff (one of the manager’s that is equal with my boss but I don’t really work for him though I do work with him some and help him out as needed). He mentioned that he wanted to talk to me, and could we go in the conference room. He then told Siggi that we were going to meet and could he join us. The 45 seconds it took us to walk to the room, I was wondering what this was about but I wasn’t nervous.
We sat down and Jeff says “are you nervous yet?” =)
I said “why, should I be??” =)
That’s when he proceeded to tell me that what he was about to tell me was that he wants to offer me a position in program planning. That is the department that looks at the requirements from assembly and plans how the cars are going to be organized (by discussing with other departments in Germany and an overall view of how the plant functions and what would be the best steps to take). Basically, easily explained, look at the big picture, break it down to the itty bitty parts and then like a puzzle, put it back together in the best way possible.
Honestly, it is one of those jobs I always thought would be a great job but never thought I could get. There are only 11 people in that department and there were no planned openings anytime in the next 5 years.
Um, can you say overwhelmed?? Tina (who will be my boss) hand picked me because she has been watching my work now for months and has been working on getting this approved for literally 6 months! I’m blown away. I’m SO excited.
That’s the cake…
…here’s the icing…
Someone contacted the church office today (aka Jess) and wanted to register me for the Worship God conference.
WHAT??!!?? Are you kidding me?
Psalm 62 was what God reminded me this morning. He rewards those who trust in Him. He is faithful. He is 2 things: powerful and steadfastly loving.
He is ridiculously amazing if you ask me.
There are no words to describe it. I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve yet another blessing – I fail to trust Him. I doubt His goodness. I question His ways. I complain about my current state. And He says wait, hope, rest and trust while you are pouring out your heart to Me.
And still, I fail there. I don’t wait with excellence. I don’t rest without trying to plan out the next 23 steps. I don’t trust without questioning “what if.” I pour out my heart to my laptop and fail to do so to my Jesus.
Yet He still chooses to bless. I don’t get it. I don’t deserve such kindness. Doesn’t He know I didn’t perfectly believe He really would bless?
Yet, still He chooses to.
Taste and See…
Taste through those words that were found.
See because He brings sight to the blind as He leads and as they pour out their hearts.
What a feast! What a view!
What a God!
For I lead the blind in ways that they do not know… I do not forsake them.
Oh taste and see that the Lord is good…
Your words were found and I ate them, and they became a delight to me and a joy to my soul…