upside down world


this season of life seems to definitely be another valley for me.  My body seems to be physically shutting down again with no clear explanation as to the reason.  Yesterday, I went home and went straight to bed at 3PM.  When I woke up at 6 with a migraine, I went to the store to get something for it then I went back to bed.  Physically, the past few weeks have been the hardest I’ve had in a while.  We seem to be back to the season of an upset stomach every time I eat, headaches every day, no energy all day long and very little sleep at night.


But surprisingly I have not been discouraged.  Hurting, yes.  Hopeless, no.  God has been very actively working and encouraging me this week.  Whether its a reminder of His lavish grace displayed on the cross, or encouragement from a friend, it has been sweet.  His grace is proving itself to be sufficient in the middle of my weakness.


I read a quote yesterday or the day before that “His power in weakness” doesn’t mean that He will take my weakness away.  Instead it means that as “extreme” as my weakness is, His strength is so much more.  I’m still working through the devotional “Extreme Devotion” by Voice of the Martyrs.  To see God’s sufficiency in the midst of true extreme situations, and to see the joy of those Christians, has encouraged and spurred me on to continue fighting my little fight He’s called me to. 


By God’s grace, my desire is not to wallow in my “horrible” state (can you sense the sarcasm?  Though its no fun and I wouldn’t choose this, I’m seeing the sweetness because my God is once again proving Himself to be greater).  I’m learning what it means to say thank you for the trials.  I’m beginning to see the juxtaposed joy in the midst of pain.  But I am still praying God takes it away.   Thanks, Corri for your encouragement on Sunday.  Thanks Julie for leading the ladies group Friday night so excellently.  God continues to work through the words that the two of you gave me last weekend.


I’m so glad I’m not doing this alone.  I’m glad for my friends who sinfully also tend to be “cave dwellers.”  Being so intimately connected to your struggles (because I struggle the same way) gives me more clarity on how to pray for God’s grace to work in your life.  I’m glad we’re learning together to be “puddle jumpers” – to see “rainy” times as just another opportunity to trust in God’s great care for us instead of giving in to the temptation to a “woe is me” attitude. 


Isaiah said “woe is me” when He saw the greatness of God.  He was undone not through trials but in seeing God’s power and might.  I desire for that to be my cry too.


3 responses »

  1. Just a thought… my beloved gets terrible headaches and things this time of year. It has turned out to be an allergy. We have not identified exactly to what, but maybe this is what is going on for you too?

  2. thanks for your care! :) i’m grateful. it seems i have quite a few food allergies, some food related, some others too. i have an appointment scheduled with a specialist in a few week.s we’ll see what comes of it.

  3. In my case, I have both food and other allergies…but I find that I’m more sensitive to foods when my body is busy reacting to the environment (this time of year, mold in particular). I’m glad you’re seeing a specialist; I hope they will be able to give you some guidance!

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