fear, finances and snow

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so this past weekend, i attended a ladies seminar on the topic of “faith when fear comes knocking.”  it was great, i left with 6 pages of notes and a head full of thoughts to process. i left encouraged that my God is truly in control and that He knows my every need and that His faithfulness is enough to still the noise of doubts and questioning that often goes on in my head.

little did I know that less than 48 hours later, i would yet again be confronting one of my unwelcome fears head on.

as I was driving home yesterday afternoon from Charlotte, the heavy rain turned to a cold, wet, sticky snow.  All schools were canceled for Monday which means that the plant was also canceled.  Due to the downturn in the economy lately, we have had quite a few non-production and non-paid days called for the first quarter of the year.  By God’s grace, I’ve known about all of them in advance to budget appropriately and have not experienced any major setbacks.

then comes the snow…unexpected, wet and a great revealer of fear…pretty white stuff that seems so harmless.  immediately, my heart welled up and overflowed with fear.  fear of not having the money needed when the impending bills are due in the next 2 weeks.

then God assaulted that fear in my heart with a reminder of this past weekend… with a reminder of His faithfulness.  with a reminder that He has provided for my EVERY need in the past and that He is sovereignly ruling over even a snowstorm.  that He knows due to the snow I’ll only be working 28 hours this week instead of 40.  And that He knows that 28 hours just isn’t financially enough.

the struggle is there to think that somehow it all won’t work out, but God has been faithfully reminding me today that He is good, that He is my Jehovah-Jireh (the God who provides) and that He knows my needs.  I’m learning, in a new way, what it means to praise God for His faithfulness despite my circumstances… to thank Him that I’m employed and physically able to work at all… to thank Him for safety as I drove home yesterday in pouring rain and poor visibility and to thank Him that even when I don’t see the way, He always provides for me.

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