lately i seem to be back into a season where the dots just don’t seem to connect. i’m weary. physically i’m weak. emotionally i’m tired. spiritually i’m worn down and dry. mentally i’m… well, i guess i’ve never been right in that area… :)
i have failed to cling to my hope in Christ. i’ve failed to trust Him to provide. i’ve questioned whether God really wants what’s best for me. i’ve accused Him of forgetting me… or simply leading me on only to later disappoint.
i’m powerless to lift myself from the pit that i am in.
and then i’m reminded of the gospel… Christ came to lift me from my own self-made destruction and misery. He came to give me a rock of hope to cling to that will never fail… not in physical pain, loneliness, confusion, darkness… never. He promised He would never leave me.
that applies not only to the day He redeemed my soul 4 years ago but for today as well. in the middle of a migraine, He holds me. In the middle of my questioning His goodness, He holds me secure in His arms of love. In the middle of loneliness, He never leaves my side. In my tired weariness, He reminds me that He is the God who watches over me and He never sleeps. There is never a moment when He is not in control of every event of my life.
I’m reminded of the hymn “Be Still my Soul.” While visiting Covenant Life a few weeks ago, we sang this song… its been in my head ever since. It is such a great example of “talking to yourself” instead of “listening to yourself.”
I think my favorite line is “be still my soul your Jesus can repay from His own fulness all He takes away.”
In the past few years, its obvious with even a brief glance at my life that God has taken much. He’s taken friends. He’s taken people I looked to and respected. He’s taken a sense of belonging and home. He’s taken my health. He’s taken much more.
But I have the promise that He will never take His presence from me. And knowing that, nothing else matters. I’d rather Him take my health, security and comfort than to leave all those and take His presence..
That is the reason that my soul can be still. That is the reason my weary soul can find hope. I am just praying for grace that God will connect those dots…
For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him. He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken. On God rests my salvation and my glory; my mighty rock, my refuge is God. Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us. (Psalm 62:5-8)
Be still, my soul: the Lord is on your side.
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.
Leave to your God to order and provide;
In every change, He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: your best, your heavenly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.
Be still, my soul: your God will undertake
To guide the future, as He has the past.
Your hope, your confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know
His voice Who ruled them while He dwelt below.
Be still, my soul: when dearest friends depart,
And all is darkened in the vale of tears,
Then shalt you better know His love, His heart,
Who comes to soothe your sorrow and your fears.
Be still, my soul: your Jesus can repay
From His own fullness all He takes away.
Be still, my soul: the hour is hastening on
When we shall be forever with the Lord.
When disappointment, grief and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love’s purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past
All safe and blessèd we shall meet at last.
Be still, my soul: begin the song of praise
On earth, believing, to your Lord on high;
Acknowledge Him in all your words and ways,
So shall He view you with a well pleased eye.
Be still, my soul: the Sun of life divine
Through passing clouds shall but more brightly shine.