there seem to be times in my life when God seems more active than at other times. I don’t know if this is just me, or if everyone feels this way. But at times, I feel God is silent, absent, missing or just simply uninvolved. Then at other times, I see such clear and precise answers to prayer that I cannot doubt His presence.
Now I’m aware that He is just as active in my life when I don’t feel it, that God is always present in my need, that He will never leave or forsake me, and that He cares for me as a Father cares for his children. Not a moment in my life escapes His sovereign gaze, not one hair from my head falls without His notice, and not one step I take is overseen by His guiding purpose. He cares for me. Even when He feels absent. Even when I don’t hear answers. He still cares. Nothing can avert his love from me.
In God’s mercy though, He doesn’t always leave us in seasons of walking by faith despite lack of answers. Sometimes He calls us to walk blindly… sometimes He gives us little glimmers of light along the way. The past few months have kind of been the latter for me.
There are several very very specific answers to prayer that God has given me since July. I thought I’d fill you in on some of them…
1. I considered for several months the possiblity of moving to the DC area. I had been applying for jobs, looking for housing and had a job come along, I would have jumped on the opportunity. After I got back from my DC trip in June (the 3rd one for the year), I was nearly 100% convinced I’d be going there… it was just a matter of the timing. Less than a week after that, I got really sick again. God used that sickness to clearly communicate to me the fact that this was not the right move at this point. There are many reasons why but I am very confident that God closed that door, and that it was a good thing.
2. God’s been working OT in my heart on trusting Him. This has been something He’s worked on over and over again in the past year, but lately its been different… there’s been a complete peace about the fact that I have no clue what God is doing.
3. About a month ago I met someone. Well not just anyone. :) Again, this is an area for me of trusting God… do I trust God to keep providing clarity in this relationship when I can’t look 5 years down the road and see how this will end? I know God is at work in me because I’m not worried about that. I am (albeit imperfectly) trusting Him to make that clear in his timing.
I’m excited. I’m more confident today than I was 4 months ago in the fact that my God cares about my life in a very personal and intimite way. And I’m grateful for that.