wanting to be happy


I find it so easy to relate with sorrow.  But joy is often another story.  Maybe its just some of the things I’ve walked through in life, but somehow I feel jaded.  As if happiness and joy is only for the naive or oblivious.  But the Bible has much to say about joy and worship.  And often its in the middle of darkness and suffering.  So, I want to listen and learn.

I’ve found myself this week wanting to be happy.  I somehow can relate with David in 2 Samuel 12 when his son dies and he says “while there was still a chance, I begged and pleaded to God to spare his life.  But now, I know I cannot bring him back.”  I feel that way with this child we lost.  Somehow though the sorrow is still there, my heart wants to be joyful.  I want to look forward at what God will do in the future and have hope.  Not that I’m completely there by any means, but I want to be, and I guess that’s a start.  Hearing that my pregnancy hormone was back to zero seemed to be a turning point of sorts for me.

While its true my life has held many sorrows, I do look at how God has comforted me and that thought brings joy… not always happiness, but a peace and joy that is deeper than a mere smile.  How I long for God to use this trial and allow others to see that joy and be pointed to Him.  Sometimes I wish I could just make joy happen… as if it were as easy as just smiling.  But I can tell God is at work, and for now, I guess that’s enough.

O Israel, how can you say the Lord does not see your troubles? How can you say God refuses to hear your case? Have you never heard or understood? Don’t you know that the Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth?  No one can measure the depths of His understanding. Isaiah 40:27-28

I have seen his ways, but I will heal him; I will lead him and restore comfort to him. Isaiah 57:18

The Lord your God in the midst of you is mighty; He will save, He will rejoice over you with joy; He will rest in His love, He will rejoice over you with singing. Zeph. 3:17

Though You have made me see troubles, many and bitter, You will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth You will again bring me up. Psalm 71:20

Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her. There I will give her back her vineyards. Hosea 2:14-15


2 responses »

  1. I just found your blog and wanted to let you know that I’ll be praying for you.

    I watched this vid and it spoke to me on so many other levels than what the actual topic was. I think if you watch it you might glean the same things from it. He does it with such love and a pastor’s heart explaining how God’s ways are higher than ours and many times we simply cannot fathom why God does what He does.



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