so grateful for truth that comforts me when life keeps going up and down.
For God alone my soul waits in silence;
from him comes my salvation.
He only is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken. (Ps 62)
Christ has been my Rock in this season like no other. I can think of no other reason why I can rejoice with my pregnant friends right now. I can think of no other reason why I can function without just constantly weeping. Though my heart has been sad and my body has been hurting, my soul is at rest. I know that my God controls life and death, and though we’ve lost 3 babies and my dear grandfather in the past 7 months, I know they are secure in the everlasting arms of my Father who loves me. I still grieve. I still cry. But God has been very kind to me.
One comfort He keeps reminding me of is that my 3 children- Ceana, Amos and Marah will not know the pain and heartache that I have faced in this world. They will never understand broken relationships. They will never understand the hurt of betrayal, rape, abuse, being in need, etc. Their entire lives will be spent in the presence of our God. Oh how jealous I am of them. I’m grateful that God has spared them. I can think of no other joy for my children than to spend every day of their lives in the presence of the One who created them.
p.s. i got tired of the old blog background so I decided to change it up a bit… hope it wasn’t confusing for you :)