Category Archives: migraine

migraines and prayer time

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I hate migraines.  By God’s grace, I don’t have them nearly as often as I used to.  But I’ve learned something over the years of fighting with my migraines…  they make me more aware of my weakness.  They make me more aware that I need God.  And they make me more empathetic for others I know who deal with physical issues on a daily basis.

So, in an effort to “not waste my migraine” (lol), I realized that I could use these times of migraines to pray.  When I’m lying in bed with a heating pad wrapped around my aching head, I think of my friends who suffer much more than I do.  And I pray that God would bless them and if He chooses, that He would heal them.

It changes my perspective.  Doesn’t take away the pain, but it definitely gives me a better view of how I handle these times.  Helps me say like Paul “now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake.” Compared to Paul, it seems ridiculous to even call this suffering.  But God is using it.  He’s using it to strengthen my heart and hopefully to care for my friends as well.

May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy,  giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light.  He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son,  in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins. (Colossians 1:11-14)

–on a side note, I’m pretty sure this was why my brain was “mush” last night…  it was warning me of what was to come… sigh.

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a look back

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thanks for your patience with me as i’ve been noticeably absent the last month or so.  i hate that my blog has taken a back seat so drastically, because if for no other reason, it is always encouraging for me to go back and look over what God has done in my life.  I was especially encouraged a few weeks ago to look back and see an overview of what God did in the past few years.

So, keeping up with the tradition, here is a brief overview of 2009…

The year started off on a very low note – with me working through some very difficult issues from my past and having to face some personal heartache that I would have much rather left buried.  Thanks to the help of Matt and Julie and many others from my church, I continued to learn what forgiveness looked like, but not without many tears.

That struggle began several months of discouragement and at times hopelessness.  Looking back now, I am so grateful for my friends who stuck with me, upheld me, and encouraged me each step of the way… and at times, did everything necessary to turn my gaze off myself and back to the hope found in the cross.

I learned through that time, that my safety and comfort must be found in Jesus alone.  That though others disappoint, and at times cause severe hurt and pain, that Jesus never fails.  I learned that like Eustace, in the Voyage of the Dawn Treader, that at times God strips away ourselves, but it is always done with a hand of love and mercy.

2009 also was a year in which I started to see my health improve.  This year brought for the first time in years the first consistent season of sleeping normally and the first period of weeks with no migraines.  I’m grateful to God for the help of the doctors and others, but ultimately, for His hand guiding my health and my life.

then began a season of questions… should i remain at my job? where should I live? should I pursue moving to another state?  if so, where?  i began pursuing a long-standing desire… to move to the Washington DC area… for months, I investigated, prayed and talked with people.  By late spring, I felt a peace about pursuing it and by mid summer I was convinced I was moving… as soon as God provided a job.  I spent 10 days in the DC area on a fact finding mission, found a place to live, spent hours driving in traffic and was excited about the pending change.  Then God closed the door.  It was clear to me that the door was closed tight and that I was not to pursue any further.  Yet it was also abundantly clear that this change was for my good and was given to me by a God who knows what is best for me.  So, my roots are in Greenville.  But my hope in God grew through that time, and though the “move” was unsuccessful, the lessons learned were well worth the months of questioning.

This fall brought changes once again to my life.  September 13th was my first date with Ted Riley, a man whom I have since grown to love.  We met in August via e-harmony and i am grateful for how God (not merely 29 dimensions of compatibility) brought the two of us together.  I could not imagine a better fit for me and look forward to seeing what God does with our relationship.

The past 4 months have been times of continuing improved health (despite the doctors telling me in August that they thought I could have pancreatic cancer) and new areas of learning to trust God.  Contentment looks different in this season (not “is there even possibly a good guy out there who would like me?” but “when will I get married / when will I have kids / when does the next “season” start?”) but the struggle remains the same… so I keep learning that no matter the circumstance, that my confidence and hope must be in the only One who remains unchanging.

In October, I began writing weekly online devotionals for Devotional Christian.  It has been an encouraging and challenging step for me… in learning to be more thoughful about what I write and growing in being more theologically informed.

I’ve seen reconciliation in relationships this year.  I’ve seen improvement in health.  I’ve seen new changes.  But through it all, I’ve learned more of the faithfulness of our God.  Through every change, He has remained true to me.  And through every time I haven’t remained true to Him, He lovingly corrects and draws me back.

What a God we serve.  I look forward to the challenges and blessings of 2010, confident that through every step, He will be by my side.

where i’ve been…

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sorry the blog has been so quiet lately.  my life seems to have chaged quite drastically over the past few weeks.  and the changes have been good and very exciting and faith building and tiring all at the same time.

about a month ago, God answered a very specific prayer of mine… a prayer that I have prayed for years.  I’ve prayed that I would meet a man who might one day become my husband… a man who loves God and cherishes that relationship above all else, a man who will love and care for me with patience and tenderness, a man who will lead and guide me humbly as he follows Christ.  Well on August 28th, God answered that prayer.  Now, I have NO clue at all where this will end… but we are both praying for and pursuing the possiblity of marriage.  God knows the end… we are currently in the process of taking the steps He’s called us to for now and trusting Him to make clear the end result of this path. 

In so many ways, Ted is far beyond what I’ve asked for in a man.  I am one very lucky girl to have his affection and care.  And yet somehow, he feels the same way about me… that he’s the lucky one.  Yet like I said, God knows the end result… but either way… even if for some unforseen reason, God takes Ted just as quickly as He brought him into my life, (oh I sure do hope and pray that’s not the case),  I have grown in my faith and trust in God through this process. 

Well, that, i’m sure as you can imagine, has taken a good bit of time lately.  We’ve spent a LOT of time together just getting to know each other… asking questions, laughing, talking, praying, etc.  I’ve enjoyed every moment.  Which has resulted in a lack of discipline when it comes to posting on the blog regularly.  I apologize for that. 

Another thing that has come up is my health.  The last 2 months or so have been some of the best physically I can remember.  I’ve started working out with a personal trainer to increase my strength and to help my body be able to fight illness better.  We’re monitoring what I’m eating and so far have lost 17 lbs!  I’m grateful to God for the ability to be able to do this.

Also, something else that has been on my heart lately is writing…  which is kind of funny considering that I’ve written significantly less in the past few weeks.  Well, an opportunity has come up for me to possibly do some devotional writings for a website online.  I’m very excited about the opportunity and am humbled to think that God might use me in this way.  I should know something within the next week or so… 

i seem to be in a season which is new for me… my cup overflows.  Now, I know God’s goodness and mercy always are with me and that no matter the circumstances, that spiritually my cup always overflows.  But right now, physically and practically, I seem to be in a season where things are better than I could have imagined. 

I would appreciate prayer that God would help me realize that even now, even when things are “good” that I am just as helpless and needy for grace as I am on a day when I can barely get out of bed without pain.  I will try to be more consistent with my blog posts as well …  :)

prayer request

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Good morning all my online friends…

i would really appreciate your prayer for me today.  I have been fighting a bad migraine since last night and think that I may be losing this battle.  I didn’t sleep well last night and am at work today, but I feel miserable.  I think a big part of it is just simply the changes in weather lately.  I’d appreciate your prayers over the next few weeks (and especially today) that I will simply be able to push through and still function. 

thanks! :)