Category Archives: my poems

Kept

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i’m troubled but i’m not cast down
for you are here with me
though winds may blow and waves will roar
your love will never cease

i look to you, i trust in you
i find my rest in you
when seasons change, when storm clouds blow
i’m kept in perfect peace.

Not the way I would have chosen

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I wrote this poem back in 2009 and I find myself feeling the same way three years later…

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Though this would not be the way I would have chosen
And the night is often so dark I can’t see.
Even when my heart’s so cold I fear its frozen
This I know, you’re working what is best for me.

Through the valleys and the darkness that we travel
I will follow as you take me by the hand.
When I doubt your care and on this path I stumble
In my weakness on your righteousness I’ll stand.

There are days it seems this trial’s never ending
Yet you’ve promised in my need you will be there.
So I look to you with faith and hope my Savior
Trusting as your Spirit comforts all my cares.

Help me trust you in the darkness,
Help me look to you, My Guide.
Take my fears and give me peace
For you will never leave my side.

a steadfast heart. and unwelcome news.

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this morning I was praying and thinking of Psalm 57 “My heart is steadfast O God, my heart is steadfast. I will sing and make music.”

I wrote the poem below as I was thinking through that passage and the fact that my heart is  steadfast because of the nature of my God, not my circumstances.  I had a moment last night where I thought “what did i just do!!??… i just quit my job and walked away from it all.” and immediately my mind went to this verse.  My heart has felt such peace since Ted and I made the decision to quit my job.

We know that this is what God is calling us to do.  My last day will officially be September 10th.  So, right after lunch, I got a phone call.  It appears my grandfather had a heart attack last night.  I don’t know the details but it seems it wasn’t a major one (whatever that means) though he was crying and begging God to just take him home at one point because he was in so much pain.  So, I call my husband to give him the news and where is he but stuck on the side of the road with a flat tire on his lunch break.  Great, just great.  Instantly I feel the freak-out-ometer rising…

And then my mind goes back to this morning… steadfast because of God, not circumstances.  Steadfast because the God who changed my life controls my days as well.  steadfast because I have example after example of how trustworthy He has been.  So, I trust.  God loves my Pop-pop.  He knows what will happen.  I will choose to be steadfast there…

Steadfast is my heart o God
As I fix my eyes on you
Through every test and trial, Lord,
To me, you have been true.
You’ve guided through confusion
You’ve led me every step
With patience, care and tenderness
You brought me from the depths.
So I sing with joy, for you’ve redeemed
This sinner from the grave.
You’ve change my nature, changed my name
No longer to death a slave
With joy I serve you Lord, my King,
My Master and my Guide
I trust you hand to keep me safe
From the trials on every side.
Guard my heart, keep my thoughts fast
As I fix my gaze on you
With confidence and trust may I
Trust what you plan to do.
My heart is steadfast, Lord, it is
Steadfast with trust for my King.
The One who redeemed, the One who gave life
The One who caused my heart to sing.

surrounded by a cloud

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“Curse God and just die” was what Job’s wife said.
“Your God is unloving.  He’s left you for dead.
The trials in your life are too much to bear.
Forsake God in anger, for his ways are not fair.”

“A child when I’m this old?”  Sara did not believe
That her body could ever a baby conceive.
She wondered why God such a promise would give
And through Hagar presented an alternative.

“In a foreign land, I’m alone without an heir
And my husband is dead, my life’s one of despair.”
Mara said “Call me bitter. My life’s over and done.
The Almighty’s afflicted.  Hope for me? No, there’s none.”

“Take my words to the heathen. Tell them to repent.”
Jonah heard from the Lord, but he had no intent
To obey.  So he ran and was swallowed up whole,
As he learned the Almighty still had the control.

These examples are given to us, may we learn
To trust in our Savior; His will not to spurn.
He’s almighty, He’s sovereign, and He guides our steps fast;
We will see the way clearly when our steps are past.

With a heart as empty as her womb on that day
Hannah pleaded in faith, God His power to display.
“If You grant me a son, I will give Him to You.
Set apart for Your service, Lord, to this I’ll be true.”

Favorite son, but yet hated by his brothers he was
Sold to slave traders, taken, without any cause.
“You did it for evil, but God worked though your plan”
Joseph said, years later, as a humble, caring man.

“The walls are now broken, your city’s burned down”
The words Nehemiah heard as he fell on the ground
“Oh, my covenant God, have mercy, and hear
We, your servants return and we worship in fear.”

Jesus prayed in the garden, as his friends slept on by
“Please Father, take this cup from me, lest I die.
But not my will. I’ll trust through injustice and pain
May Your glory through my life and my actions reign.”

May I always reme mber the examples I’m given
Those who trusted the will of their Father in heaven.
Let me learn, too, from all those who doubted and feared,
Let me run, not grow weary, and in trust persevere.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.  Hebrews 12:1-3

Joseph

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Tears streaming from his face, he said
“I’ve chosen to forgive.
You intended for me evil
But through this I’ve learned to live
A life trusting in my Savior.
I’ve learned His ways are best.
Through the dungeon, through the prison,
through the trials – I’ve been blessed.
I rejoice in what you’ve done to me
How I wish you understood –
You intended this for evil, friends,
But God meant it for my good.”

Ezekiel 16

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Abandoned straight from birth you were
Left alone to die
Hated and rejected no one
Listened your cries.
Your heritage and lineage is
From the unredeemed.
No one had compassion; you were
Helpless and unclean.

Then I passed by and saw you there
Writhing in your blood
No one washed or cared for you
Or dared your soul to love.
But my soul had compassion;
Wanted not to see you die
“Live” I said, “grow and be
I’ll make you now, child, mine.”

I made you flourish like a tree
You grew up proud and strong
But naked still you were, and had
No place where you belonged.
When I passed by again and saw,
I came and covered up
Your nakedness, and then declared
A covenant of love.

I bathed you, made you clean, and then
I covered up your shame;
Gave robes of silk and linen, and
Beauty became your fame.
You grew as royalty although
From birth you were so poor.
Favor was bestowed on you
Through God, your redeeming Lord.

But you trusted in your beauty and you
Chose to be a whore.
Though everything to you I gave
Your heart desired more.
You took the good gifts that I gave
Made idols out of them.
I fed you, but you hungered still
For approval and love from men.

Did you forget, my child, I found you
Wallowing in blood?
Did you forget your nakedness?
Did you forget my love?
In spite of all I’ve done, you left;
Rejected all my care
For that of men. My child, you must
Listen and beware.

This path you’re on will bring your death.
Destruction’s sure to come.
Woe to you, for you chose to turn
From the Redeeming One.
Through sin, you’ll find no joy or life
Your heart will always long
For more. It can’t be satisfied
Apart form Me, your God.

How sick your heart, your ways despised
For all that you’ve done wrong.
You’ve turned to lovers for payment
And rejected your true Lover’s song.
So, prostitute, now listen:
Your nakedness will be known.
Rejected by all you’ve chosen to love
You’ll find yourself alone.

I’ll judge you as the whore you are
And it will be severe.
My wrath and jealousy will come
And you’ll learn Me to fear.
Remember your heritage?  It’s what you’ve become.
You’re living as the unredeemed;
Forgotten that I am He who gave you life;
Forgotten my love, so it seems.

My child, please listen, and turn from your ways
Repent of the deeds you have done.
Forget not my mercy, forget not my grace,
Forget not the covenant of love.
See your actions for what they truly are
Injustice against the Holy God
Look to me, remember the great things I’ve done
Find merciful grace from my rod.

Do not forget, my child, I found you
Wallowing in blood.
Do not forget your nakedness.
Do not forget my love.
In spite of all you’ve done, I came,
Pursued you with my grace.
So, return to me, your Redeemer God
Return to your Lover’s embrace.

the joy of the Lord is my strength

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When I see the fury of the law which I cannot appease
I’m tempted to fear and feel my soul doubting in unbelief
but at that point the righteous Judge looks to me and says
don’t be afraid, for in My strength, you’ll find sweet joy and rest.

The joy of the Lord has become my strength
in place of judgment and fear
I rejoice in the goodness He’s given to me
His presence is ever near.

The law has shown my unworthiness
Yet I stand here without shame
at the throne of merciful grace without end
I’m forgiven through Jesus’ name.

My advocate, He, before the Judge
declares my soul redeemed
He purifies me, and washes me clean
and lovingly calls me His friend.

This truth brings me joy when I start to despair: He’s faithfully working in me
I cling to the promise that He will complete the work that began on that tree.
I thank the Father for giving His Son to declare my soul to be clean
His strength is my joy, for through it I know that I my soul has been redeemed.